Once you are a mom, you will never be the person you were, again. Motherhood changes you in so many ways….not just physically and emotionally. You will never again make choices just for yourself. Every thought you have starts to revolve around this new little human(s) that belong to you. And those changes can be so beautiful. Watching a woman bloom into a mother is an amazing thing.
But, those changes can also feel so strange
I am always saying that new motherhood is such a weirdly isolating thing. You have this person who needs you full time, you are running around to this appointment or that appointment, and you’re never alone. Your schedule becomes dictated by these little ones; it can be hard to make time to be with friends or do the things you used to. And in the quiet moments (however, few and far between they may be) you are mourning the loss of who you were and feeling like yourself. And I know how hard it can be to figure out what that new normal looks like. It can be hard to not feel guilty about spending time away from your babies. But it is good for them to be with their dad, grandma, aunt…whoever else you choose. Those relationships are just as important to nurture, and it becomes a win-win, they get that time and you get a break.
You may see other mamas and think about the things they do, and how they are similar or different to you. And its overwhelming and daunting to try and pick up all these pieces and put them together in a new way. Comparing will kill your joy, just stop doing it! All parents have different strengths and just because your mama friends or other moms you see on social media may be good at somethings, it doesn’t mean you have to be. I am not a good housekeeper or decorating….I really want to be (oh how I want to be) but its just not something I do well or enjoy doing. But I’m pretty good at organizing events and baking treats! Maybe you are good at decorating but wish you were better at something else. I want you to stop focusing on the things you wish you were and start celebrating the things that you already ARE! Don’t force yourself into a hobby or activity, just because, find what makes your heart really sing, and spend your time on that.
Letting it Go
I am working allowing myself to not be totally identified and wrapped up in my role as “mama”. While motherhood is a huge part of who I am, its not all of me. I am also a woman, a sister, a friend, a professional, a wife, and a blogger.
Making time to do the things that make me happy and fulfilled. And yes, I have to make the time, otherwise, there never would be any! Of course, those things will look different for everyone. Find what makes you happy, truly happy, and take time to do those things! You are the best mama, when you are happy. It is okay to take time to be you! For me writing this blog and my work in breastfeeding and postpartum support, makes me a better mama. Those things fill the gaps left, by the “old me” and make me feel whole.
Balance in Motherhood and Blogging
Finding a balance between motherhood and blogging is a constant work in progress for me. When I started blogging, it was just for “fun” and kind of like my journal, I only shared my blog with my close friends and family, and it was mainly milestone updates. Once my daughter was born, I decided to make it public, and talk more about breastfeeding and motherhood, in general. I also learned that blogging can be a legitimate source of income, and provide some cool experiences, and that got me super excited and motivated! At first, I got a little lost in it all, I would spend a lot of time on my blog and found myself constantly telling my kids “one more second” and before I knew it all the seconds were up and I never ended up doing anything with my kiddos.
At the beginning of the summer, I took a break from blogging and social media, to reassess. It was such a breath of fresh air, I highly recommend it to anyone who may be feeling burnt out. I came back with such clarity too. I was able to slow down and pick just a few topics to blog on, rather than trying to write about everything. And I have scheduled myself specific writing time, during the week, so that I’m not scrambling or writing instead of playing with my kids. It helps keep me organized and focused on the moment when I am with my babies. I also have to stop and remind myself that blogging is something I choose to do for work, and to be mindful of and grateful for the experiences we are able to have, because of blogging.
Motherhood and blogging are both huge parts of who I am, and I would never give either of them up. Although it takes time, and maybe some trial and error, you can always find a way to make motherhood and your passions work together.
How do you find balance in your life?
About the author: Aryn is a Wife, Mama and Certified Lactation Counselor. She shares her musings on motherhood, journey to self love, breastfeeding tips, along with her favorite mom and beauty products on her blog With Cream and Sugar. You can keep up with her musings on motherhood and daily adventures on Instagram